liquidgnome

Wednesday June 8, 2011

june is finally here

2 people die as bear flies through SUV (the sound must have been horrendous.)

i thought it sucked when i maimed a rabbit with a car. three hundred pounds of ursine projectile isn’t even on the list of the top 100 ways i’d prefer not to die, but it’s at least in the running to make the list at this point.

the incomprehensibility of the visual is what grabs me. night driving, large furry thing in the air four feet off the ground… how would one even have the presence of mind to curse the heavens, let alone turn the wheel?

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Wednesday September 10, 2008

what are the odds

i think of all the times i’ve thrown a screwdriver at the ground and had it bounce off the handle, and it makes this incident all the more saddening.

gangs are awesome, though.

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Thursday September 4, 2008

olson johnson is right

leave it to commentators on a sports website for a small market basketball team to break it down.

“everyone thinks everyone else is an insane douchebag who WANTS to HURT everyone who doesn’t think exactly like them.

And everyone just forgets that we’re all on the same side here. Everyone wants the same goals – happiness and security. We just have different ideas of how to get there.”

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Wednesday August 13, 2008

what phony dog poo?

“look mummy, there’s an aeroplane up in the sky.”

no, it’s just a giant inflatable poo.

i’m not much of an art critic, but doesn’t a giant floating dog turd fall squarely into the scatalogical humor camp, and not in the domain of picasso, monet and dali?

a good friend of mine told me that if you don’t like a particular piece of art it’s because you probably don’t understand it.

well, i don’t understand this.

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Tuesday July 29, 2008

i mean, come on now.

Bali bombers seek ‘execution without pain’

i’m sure that had their victims been asked prior to being blown up, they may have requested a different fate as well. i’m sure that the top five possible outcomes as predicted by a random clubgoer on that fateful evening would probably have been something like:


  1. have anonymous sex

  2. don’t puke

  3. get a burrito

  4. pass out in front of benny hill reruns

  5. live


but sadly, not everybody gets to choose their mode of egress.

if it were up to me, firing squad wouldn’t be a painful enough method of execution for the bombers. maybe ‘death by ants’ or ‘the hell of being cut to pieces’ or something of that nature would be more fitting.

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